Tag: humor

Had to reblog

This post by Julia killed me! so true and made me think about how all throughout high school (and still to this day) my girlfriend Stacey and I had a running joke/true friendship request of promising to tell each other if we ever developed a front ass.

If you don’t know what a front ass is: (via urban dictionary, of course)

1.Front Ass
Bulge of fat that hangs over the genitals and is split down the middle to look like an ass.
Oh my god. That dude has front ass hanging over his pants.
buy front ass mugs & shirts

2.Front Ass
When one reaches a level of obesity to the extent that he/she has two asses – a fully functional rear ass as well as a non-functional, for appearances only frontal ass.
The frontal ass is anatomically referenced as the Front Ass. The front ass encompasses the lower abdominal area from the pubic bone to the waist line.
“Jabba’s getting rather large That’s quite the front ass that she’s packing. Although I must say, it does help to balance out her rather generous rear ass.”

“Man those stretch pants are screaming bloody murder. Her front ass is putting a hurting on them while at the same time her rear ass appears to making a meal of them.”

3.Front Ass
when someone’s belly hangs over their beltline and into the upper thigh, thus creating “front ass”
when someone’s belly hangs over their beltline and down into the upper thigh area, thus creating “front ass”

 

Julia's Gems

No, not the delicious overhanging part of a breakfast pastry you get with your coffee in the morning.  Although, that is undeniably my favorite part of any muffin…I love when it’s toasted juuuust enough so that when I break off the sides they are juuust a bit crunchy to balance out all of the fluffy baked goodness on the inside.  Though, if you eat muffins for breakfast you are likely to have the “muffin top” I am about to discuss.

What I mean is the awful overhanging part of someones (usually someone of the female persuasion) gut/”love handles” when they’ve squeezed into pants that are way too tight.  In my opinion, I don’t understand why the muffin top exists at all.  If you don’t fit into your jeans why would you show the rest of the world that by somehow squeezing them closed, clearly exposing the rest of you that…

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Little things add up

I took a moment today to think of a few of the little things in the past week that have made me smile.

My boss, at my relief job, told me I needed to change the voicemail. Why did this make me feel good? He said I have a lovely voice that people don’t mind listening too! Anything I’ve heard my voice I’ve been a tad disgusted lol but whateves I took the compliment.

When Ryan and I were in Vegas we bought new True Religion jeans (it’s the outlet store i would never buy full priced ones, plus they’re well made and last longer than $30 jeans I often buy… anyways don’t know why I’m defending this purchase, I stand by it) the part that made me smile about buying jeans at TR was when the sales girl came and asked what size I was looking for I said “I think 30-31” and she actually looked at me and choked out “UMM you’re kidding, you’re not that big” WHAT? OMG thankyou my new favourite lady, not that big! and she was right I fit 29’s!!!

I was having a day of insecurities and low self-esteem. Ryan being the sweet and funny guy his is wrote a list of things he should be insecure about or worries about and said he should be more insecure than I am, but reminded me he doesn’t stress about it because he knows I love him. His list included how hairy he is lol. Hard not to smile when you’re significant other is supportive and tries to cheer you up with some humor.

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Getting 2 pairs of your favourite running shoes for the price of 1!
That makes me brag, not just smile!

Having my cats around when I work out in the basement makes me laugh.  As soon as my yoga mat goes on the floor one of them is laying on it, as you can see.  Amuses me when I’m doing sit ups or pushups and all of a sudden some fur is in my face or under me.  They’re cute!

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