Wow I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for one year on my little blog here! thanks to all my followers, blogging friends, friends and anyone who just stops by to check it out!
I’ve done a lot in a year and I think writing in this blog has really helped me improve myself emotionally, physically and maybe even a tad in the spiritually department as well.
In the past year I’ve:
- maintained a much healthier weight than I used to
- toned my body
- ran my first 10k race
- ran my first and second half marathons
- made it a goal to have the laundry hamper filled with dirty gym clothes by the end of the week
- invested in many garments from lululemon. Some would say too many, but I would say agree to disagree. (since that’s what fills my laundry hamper)
- bought 4 pairs of asics and ran through 2 of them that I continue to wear on occasion cause I love them so much.
- built my confidence back up by embracing my body.
I might not always talk about the emotional side of me in my blog. I think I used to discuss how I felt, when I was really working hard at losing all the excess weight and when I was only blogging on jillandnikkidowork. I think that was because I struggled more than with my confidence back then. I didn’t see myself as beautiful, healthy, respectable when I 30lbs heavier. Now that I do feel I am all those things, I am more confident. Almost too confident some days… say my wedding day? lol that’s a good day to feel confident in who you are.
I saw this Dove commercial on facebook in the last week.
It was really emotional for me because I could absolutely relate to the women in the video. It made me think about how I felt about myself before losing all the weight. I wouldn’t have had very many positive things to say about myself and especially the way I looked. I think I would still have a hard time explaining my face to someone who couldn’t see me now, but that’s more so because I’ve never had to. I still struggle with my self-image/self-esteem and appreciating the body that I was born in and have worked my ass off to achieve today. I remember about 8 months ago I had gone out for a girlfriends staggette party. At the end of the night we ran into some male friends, of friends, of hers and all crammed into a car to get home on the cheap. I sat on the lap of a guy (no biggie just squashing in for a free ride) and I tried not to put all my weight on him because I was still very self-conscious about myself. He noticed and said something about it in a nice way “how about you sit comfortably” so I moved to different position and he didn’t seem to cry out in pain with me sitting there. We talked about running the whole way to my girlfriends house. I had said something like “I don’t have a runners body” and this guy I’d know for 30 minutes was like “You have an athletic body”. After that 30 minute drive, I went home and told myself I need to stop with the self put downs. Obviously this guy I didn’t know thought I was athletic, so that’s probably how I portray myself to people, and if I wasn’t portraying myself that way, it was because I needed to show more confidence in who I am. So I have done just that. I wore a bikini in mexico with no shorts/shirts, besides when walking somewhere, to cover my thighs… I haven’t done this since I was like 7, which was before I became self-conscious of my body.
Don’t get me wrong, my Husband is always telling me how beautiful, athletic or whatever else anyone would love to hear (compliments are awesome), but sometimes you just need a positive reinforcement from someone who isn’t trying to get lucky afterwards 😉
nikkiinhighgear 