Tag: Self-esteem

Reflecting on one year

Wow I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for one year on my little blog here! thanks to all my followers, blogging friends, friends and anyone who just stops by to check it out!

I’ve done a lot in a year and I think writing in this blog has really helped me improve myself emotionally, physically and maybe even a tad in the spiritually department as well.

In the past year I’ve:

  • maintained a much healthier weight than I used to
  • toned my body
  • ran my first 10k race
  • ran my first and second half marathons
  • made it a goal to have the laundry hamper filled with dirty gym clothes by the end of the week
  • invested in many garments from lululemon.   Some would say too many, but I would say agree to disagree. (since that’s what fills my laundry hamper)
  • bought 4 pairs of asics and ran through 2 of them that I continue to wear on occasion cause I love them so much.
  • built my confidence back up by embracing my body.

I might not always talk about the emotional side of me in  my blog.  I think I used to discuss how I felt, when I was really working hard at losing all the excess weight and when I was only blogging on jillandnikkidowork.  I think that was because  I struggled more than with my confidence back then.  I didn’t see myself as beautiful, healthy, respectable when I 30lbs heavier.  Now that I do feel I am all those things, I am more confident.   Almost too confident some days… say my wedding day? lol that’s a good day to feel confident in who you are.

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I saw this Dove commercial on facebook in the last week.

It was really emotional for me because I could absolutely relate to the women in the video.  It made me think about how I felt about myself before losing all the weight.   I wouldn’t have had very many positive things to say about myself and especially the way I looked.   I think I would still have a hard time explaining my face to someone who couldn’t see me now, but that’s more so because I’ve never had to.  I still struggle with my self-image/self-esteem and appreciating the body that I was born in and have worked my ass off to achieve today.   I remember about 8 months ago I had gone out for a girlfriends staggette party.  At the end of the night we ran into some male friends, of friends, of hers and all crammed into a car to get home on the cheap.  I sat on the lap of a guy (no biggie just squashing in for a free ride) and I tried not to put all my weight on him because I was still very self-conscious about myself.  He noticed and said something about it in a nice way “how about you sit comfortably” so I moved to different position and he didn’t seem to cry out in pain with me sitting there.  We talked about running the whole way to my girlfriends house.    I had said something like “I don’t have a runners body” and this guy I’d know for 30 minutes was like “You have an athletic body”.  After that 30 minute drive, I went home and told myself I need to stop with the self put downs. Obviously this guy I didn’t know thought I was athletic, so that’s probably how I portray myself to people, and if I wasn’t portraying myself that way, it was because I needed to show more confidence in who I am.  So I have done just that.  I wore a bikini in mexico with no shorts/shirts, besides when walking somewhere, to cover my thighs… I haven’t done this since I was like 7, which was before I became self-conscious  of my body.

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embracing my body! proud of how damn cute I look actually

Don’t get me wrong, my Husband is always telling me how beautiful, athletic  or whatever else anyone would love to hear (compliments are awesome), but sometimes you just need a positive reinforcement from someone who isn’t trying to get lucky afterwards 😉

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Little things add up

I took a moment today to think of a few of the little things in the past week that have made me smile.

My boss, at my relief job, told me I needed to change the voicemail. Why did this make me feel good? He said I have a lovely voice that people don’t mind listening too! Anything I’ve heard my voice I’ve been a tad disgusted lol but whateves I took the compliment.

When Ryan and I were in Vegas we bought new True Religion jeans (it’s the outlet store i would never buy full priced ones, plus they’re well made and last longer than $30 jeans I often buy… anyways don’t know why I’m defending this purchase, I stand by it) the part that made me smile about buying jeans at TR was when the sales girl came and asked what size I was looking for I said “I think 30-31” and she actually looked at me and choked out “UMM you’re kidding, you’re not that big” WHAT? OMG thankyou my new favourite lady, not that big! and she was right I fit 29’s!!!

I was having a day of insecurities and low self-esteem. Ryan being the sweet and funny guy his is wrote a list of things he should be insecure about or worries about and said he should be more insecure than I am, but reminded me he doesn’t stress about it because he knows I love him. His list included how hairy he is lol. Hard not to smile when you’re significant other is supportive and tries to cheer you up with some humor.

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Getting 2 pairs of your favourite running shoes for the price of 1!
That makes me brag, not just smile!

Having my cats around when I work out in the basement makes me laugh.  As soon as my yoga mat goes on the floor one of them is laying on it, as you can see.  Amuses me when I’m doing sit ups or pushups and all of a sudden some fur is in my face or under me.  They’re cute!

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